DEAR YOUNG LADY.

 It will interest you to know that there are some proposals you should turn down, not because the man isn't handsome or well to-do, but because he may not be able to manage your career capacity as time goes by. 

I will share my story. 

About a decade ago, while I was still in 200/300 level, a young man who wanted to marry me once said and I quote,

"You're too much of a career oriented person and I don't think that you will have time for our home. Can't you just slow down a bit? Haba!"

Well, that statement didn't even hit me much until he started throwing subtle jibes about my writing skills then and how I was doing 'too much'

'Too much'?

How?

I discovered that even as at that level I was, I would usually talk about my dreams, how to enter my creative pieces for a competition, discuss short term goals about creating a book, etc. 

There were times that he saw my attention to books and he introduced me to a writing training. When he noticed that my knowledge had passed that, he concluded that I was aiming too high. 

In his world, I was aiming too much for a woman he would eventually marry. Best believe, he was beginning to see me as a competition to contend with. 

Hmm...

As the years goes by, I began to study his outlook to life, especially that aspect that has to do with leadership. He was everything good, I won't deny that fact. But when it comes to the aspect of a woman having her life and soar with it, he would clip that aspect. 

It's 10 years now and it has finally dawned on me that he only wanted a woman who can drop her bag of dreams at the gate of our father's house and enter his own home with an empty sack. 

Then, he could swirl the woman as he want and dictate the world in which she should live. 

I'm glad I finally realized that God's leading is THE BEST. 

Though, it doesn't excuse the fact that both partners will have to talk about the career aspects thoroughly. 

But at least, you'd be entering a covenant that gives you the leverage and backing to first live life on God's terms, then, on your own terms. 

Dear Young lady, please understand the capacity you occupy in life and while you aim not to settle for less, please put God first in all things. 

He alone determines the best partner that will make your life journey easy-peasy. 

Life is tough on its own, do well to find REST in God's arms. He loves to give His children rest. 

Shalom.